so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You dont lie about slip and slides
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
