If that was your dad, he is hot
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
