I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
