What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
