maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Send help, water and tortillas.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
