your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
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