You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
