How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
