We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize