So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
