We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
why do cheetos always look like penises
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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