3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
