Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I currently don't understand fingers.
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