I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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