walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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