He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
