Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
