U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
