we're blogging at a bar
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
