This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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