I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
