i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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