what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
