can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
