pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
