I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize