i just had sex bonerless
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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