Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
