Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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