There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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