3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
