I got chris browned last night
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize