pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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