I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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