in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
