Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
