you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
