If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
