I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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