Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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