they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
