Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
