North Korea, Best Korea!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
