Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
