Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
