I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
