My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
