So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
