i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
