OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
