Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
