Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
