its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
