I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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