Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
