Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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