was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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